“OSHA Inspection At Santa’s Workshop”

Let me tell a story ‘bout a holiday past
Almost broke, Santa ran out of cashThe workshop’s a mess, there were holes in the floor
Conveyor belts squeaked, there was no budget forfixing the equipment, elves never got breaks
They worked double shifts, made a lot of mistakes

Would Christmas be canceled ‘cause Santa’s so poor?
Then his jaw dropped down at the knock on the door.

Uh-Oh
Uh-Ohhhhh-SHA inspection

Uh-Oh
Uh-Ohhhhh-SHA inspection

An OSHA inspection at Santa’s workshop?
The elves kept sweatin’ ‘cause the shop was so hot.

“Please don’t arrest us. We have asbestos
… suits to hide from the heat…. for the record”

“Asbestos was banned in the 70s man.
And that hard hat you have’s obsolete, Peter Pan
They whipped out their pencils and checked every box.
Santa looked like Christmas might be stopped.

Uh-Oh
Uh-Ohhhhh-SHA inspection

Uh-Oh
Uh-Ohhhhh-SHA inspection

Fine, fine, fine, fine Christmas
Give Kringle a fine, fine, fine, this Christmas
Those government guys sure look suspicious
All the children will cry, cry, cry this Christmas

Uh-Oh
Uh-Ohhhhh-SHA inspection

The inspection was over and Santa was flippin’
Uncle Sam’s agents looked ready to whip him

They gave him what looked like a stack of citations
he put on his specs, it was really donations.

The OSHA employees took up a collection
from OSHA coworkers in every direction

And then the inspectors broke into a smile
as we all jumped into the big money pile

The workshop went crazy, the elves began jumping
St. Nick laughed and started fist-bumping

Now he could pay them a minimum wage
And obey every rule that was there on the page.

He ran through the room with the basket of checks
and the OSHA folks left on the Polar Express

And then Santa shouted to all who would listen
I don’t think they measured the reindeer emissions.

Uh-Oh SANTA! They heard you!
Uh-Ohhhhh-SHA inspection

Now they’re coming back!

Uh-Oh SANTA, are you crazy?
Uh-Ohhhhh-SHA inspection

Why did he say that?